226953

Joke of the Day

"So, my girlfriend won't let me wear my mood ring anymore... ...I'm not really sure how I feel about it"

"Impressing the McDonald's drive thru people with my music is always a top priority"

"Doctor: ""Why is my waiting room empty?"" Judge: ""I hauled everyone off to court"" Doctor: ""You're trying my patients"""

"When someone tells me they're a doctor or an engineer all I can think is: ""wow your parents must've yelled at you to do your homework a lot"""

"Just watched the movie 2012 and honestly I don't remember any of that happening."

"Cheap 1st Date Ideas: Get some matching Red Polo shirts & hang out in a Target. Give terrible info to inquisitive costumers."

"I traced the call. It was phone-shaped."

"A woman I met had 13 children all named David. When I asked her how she calls just one of them, she said, ""Oh that's easy; I just call them by their last names."""

"Pssst! I'm voting. Does anyone know the answer to #4? And who do I show my tits for extra credit? That old lady doesn't look interested."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter;it's not going to come"