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Joke of the Day

"All you people who chose ""The Real"" or ""Official"" before your Twitter handle really thought ahead of the game there. Well done, guys."

"What do you call a rough Italian neighborhood? A Spaghetto"

"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm quite busy."

"[holds up bread] ""This is my body"" [holds up wine] ""this is my blood"" [holds up puppy] ""and this is my new pet"" [apostles go fricken nuts]"

"""Hey, checkout my butthole."" - Cats."

"The Atom and the Cation The Atom says to the Cation, ""who's in charge around here?"" Cation: ""I am!"" Atom: ""Are you sure?"" Cation: ""I'm positive!"""

"Hope my marriage can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan."

"What do you call a thrash can that cant close A thrash cannot (hahaha.....)"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Cockinasoreass. (Better when said aloud)"

"Did you guys hear they're making a sequel to the hit TV show ""Medium?"" It's called ""Large."""