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Joke of the Day

"Ex is bringing my kids back home. Time to strategically place the panties I bought from Victoria's secret around the house"

"What's the program jedi use to read pdf files? Adobe wan kenobi"

"A girl picking up the phone in the middle of sex is a free pass to get weird."

"*KFC* Me: how tender is the chicken? Employee: [points to chicken crying watching the notebook]"

"Did you hear about the Mexican Train Killer? He had loco motives"

"What do you call a black woman with 8 abortions? A crime fighter."

"What is the difference between Detroit and Cleveland? 5 years."

"Removing her clothes"

"Heard on Haight St. the other day: Why didnt the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? Cause he was just too far out, man. Edit: I work on Haight St. This was in exchange for one cigarette."

"What do you call a abortion in Czechoslovakia? A cancelled check."