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Joke of the Day

"Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work!"

"What did the egg say when asked what a whisk does? Beats me."

"What did the tuba say to the clarinet? Nothing, instruments don't talk."

"I thought it was a compliment to tell a girl she looked like Ronda Rousey... I guess I should've left off the ""after she got kicked in the face"" part."

"What does Christopher Nolan call a movie with a baby within a baby within a baby . . . Conception."

"Jesus said to Peter, ""Come forth and I will give you eternal glory."" Peter came fifth and won a toaster."

"You wanna hear a disappointing joke with an anticlimactic punchline? Okay."

"What is the capital of the United States? Half of what it was last week"

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, you'll be a mile away and he'll be barefoot."

"Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair? Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt."