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Joke of the Day

"Jesus said to Peter, ""Come forth and I will give you eternal glory."" Peter came fifth and won a toaster."

Next Joke
 
"What does Spock sing in the shower? I'll stop the world and meld with you!"
"They should make Star Trek toilet paper... ...so you can help wipe Klingons off Uranus. (been a while since this one's been around. Just heard it again today from my 5 year old niece)"
"Literally nothing has had less of an impact towards changing my life than that inspirational quote you posted on social media."
"What do you call sex with a french midget? Bone a petite"
"Well, a wasp just flew into my house and I hope the fire department gets here soon."
"Did you hear about the amputee that came in last on Jeopardy? He was stumped."
"What do you call a guy who likes to lose? Ewan"
"A fart is just a turd honking for the right of way. Yep"
"Parole officer: Come in and take a seat [me, finishing a jail term for stealing chairs] *starts sweating*"
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