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Joke of the Day

"I've been dumped by my girlfriend... She found me creepy as I always had to have a name for my penis, oh well, guess I'll have to take Matters into my own hands now."

"""Pay attention, 007; this might look like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."""

"What did they name the Chinese remake of ""Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs""? It's Raining Cats and Dogs"

"What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 60 pounds."

"How can you make a moth ball ? Hit it with a fly swatter."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a bunch of Mexicans? Jesus doesn't have a bunch of Mexicans tattooed all over himself."

"I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care."

"They say children are a gift from god. I'm totally wide-open to regifting."

"Remember when Taco Bell's slogan was ""run for the border""? Doesn't that seem really racist now... that would be like KFC's slogan being ""go back to Africa"""

"Sex jokes Are Not Funny Come on guys."