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Joke of the Day

"Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions."

"Is it sad that the plans I make after work depend on how much charge I have left in my phone battery?"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill.... And Jill came back with an IPhone 7"

"I bought a high end stereo with a broken volume knob for $10. I couldn't turn it down."

"Ellen Degeneres Found Dead She Was Found Face Down In Ricki Lake :D"

"What did the Iraqi refugee say when he crossed the border? Iran!"

"Help! Has anybody seen a little boy with a corndog? Stranger: He's over there! Oh thank God! [steals little boy's corndog and runs away]"

"If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me.... ....Like the words President Bush."

"What did the double dick guy say when the tailor asked him if he dresses right or left? Yes."

"The Puzzle - I beat a record. - Oh , what? - I managed to do a puzzle in 15 days on which he had written "" from 3 to 5 years."""