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Joke of the Day

"Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions."

Next Joke
 
"Is it sad that the plans I make after work depend on how much charge I have left in my phone battery?"
"Jack and Jill went up the hill.... And Jill came back with an IPhone 7"
"I bought a high end stereo with a broken volume knob for $10. I couldn't turn it down."
"Ellen Degeneres Found Dead She Was Found Face Down In Ricki Lake :D"
"What did the Iraqi refugee say when he crossed the border? Iran!"
"Help! Has anybody seen a little boy with a corndog? Stranger: He's over there! Oh thank God! [steals little boy's corndog and runs away]"
"If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me.... ....Like the words President Bush."
"What did the double dick guy say when the tailor asked him if he dresses right or left? Yes."
"The Puzzle - I beat a record. - Oh , what? - I managed to do a puzzle in 15 days on which he had written "" from 3 to 5 years."""