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Joke of the Day

"The ""Selfie"" sorority girls Gave there tickets to the less fortunate...I'm my book that makes them charitable women and not very selfie at all"

"If I have a rooster and you have a donkey and your donkey eats my roosters feet, what do I get? Two feet of cock up your ass."

"Did you hear about the guy who froze himself? I hear he is 0K!"

"A Mexican magician says that he'll disappear on the count of three... ""Uno... dos..."" POOF! He disappeared without a tres."

"My son is petrified of thunder. I told him that is ridiculous, it's the lightning that will kill him."

"I like to do the same thing to my girlfriend that I do with my drum set Pretend that I have one"

"All a farmer needs to do to get a girlfriend is... ...attract her."

"Give me a break, ouija board. I don't need to know who was killed in this house. Just tell me how the murderer got away with it."

"What's the difference between a homeless man and a trash can? One of them gets taken in every once in a while."

"Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer"