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Joke of the Day
"My Optometrist told me in 8 years I'd have 2020 vision."
Next Joke
"And the award for the best neckwear goes to... Huh, would you look at that, it was a tie."
"An Trainer talks to one of his Novice Doctor... 'I cannot wait to do this operation!' 'And why is that?' 'If I could not wait to do this operation,I would be no doctor... **'I WOULD BE PATIENT!'**"
"If you think 7 years of bad luck is too much for breaking a mirror ... try breaking a condom."
"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously."
"A chicken and an egg are laying in bed... When the chicken sits up, lights a cigar and says "" Well I guess that answers that question."""
"How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand."
"Instagram: My life is a party. Snapchat: My life is a quirky tv show Facebook: My life turned out great! Twitter: We're all going to die."
"What's 9 inches long, rock hard, full of semen, and the ladies scream at? my cock."
"The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of beer per year. That's 41 miles per gallon...which is not bad."