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Joke of the Day
"I started this new whiskey diet. I've lost 4 days already!"
Next Joke
"Wife:How'd you sleep? Me: Fine except I got in a gun fight and died and went to the store because I ran out of shampoo W: Ambien:*giggles"
"Where do banana slaves go to work? Plantaintions."
"A known sex maniac, on the publication of his memoir, was asked how he felt about his past exploits. ""I remember them fondly."""
"An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter ""How do you feel?"" ""How would you feel"" the astronout replied ""if you were stuck here on top of 20000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"""
"It's raining cats and dogs outside. Know how I can tell? I stepped in a poodle."
"Don't waste your time going to the library looking for books on suicide..... no one ever brings them back."
"What room is missing from almost every house? a Mushroom"
"When does a horse neigh? Whinny wants to!"
"[A snowman sees a sign for a snowblower] Oh hell yeah"