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Joke of the Day

"Imagine a giraffe. Now imagine the giraffe trying to get on a pool float. Now put my face on the giraffe. That's about right."

"I heard that there were a couple of jokes in the Bible, so I went to look for one myself... I found one in Genesis, but it wasn't that funny; it was the oldest joke in the book."

"Your mom's had so many trains run on her... ...they call her The Island of Sodor."

"I bought my wife a pair of slippers and a dildo for Christmas... If she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself. - From The Sopranos"

"That'll do, fellas. I think we're good on breathy singer-songwriters who sound like they're creepily whispering rapey stuff in our ears."

"What do you call a penis shaped wand? A Magic Johnson."

"How can you tell if you accidentally wandered into a gay bar? Everyone keeps offering to push your stool in"

"""Mother I'd like to fuck"" She said ""Ok, let's break your arms and get started."""

"How many Mexicans does it take to build a....... oh shit, they're done."

"People think life after college is nothing but feeling tired all the time, but that's just not true. There's also a ton of fear and anxiety."