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Joke of the Day

"Heading to work this morning there was a car parked on the train tracks, with a bumper sticker that said ""Honk if you love Jesus!"" That train engineer must have REALLY loved Jesus."

"I think I need to take a break. -me, as soon as I get to work."

"Edited from my mistake earlier today: what do paedophiles and napalm have in common? They can both strip a Vietnamese orphan in under 30 seconds."

"Did you hear the joke about ebola? ...you won't get it."

"Santa Clause and a Jew [NSFW] Whats the difference between Santa Clause and a Jew? Santa Clause comes down the Chimney."

"Optimus Prime: AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT. Me: *walks downstairs* where the hell is my toaster and microwave?"

"What is E.T short for? Because he's got little legs."

"Q: Where do books eat dinner? A: At the table of contents."

"How does a Bee get to work? He catches a buzz."

"I just turned 50 today and it's official , my balls are longer than my pecker."