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Joke of the Day
"Selling a vacuum has to be nearly impossible. They all suck."
Next Joke
"What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? The rib cage."
"In ""Come As You Are"", Kurt Cobain kept repeating ""And I swear that I don't have a gun""... ...he lied."
"Son, there's no need for a paternity test. I knew you were mine when you came prematurely."
"Can you get high off of viagra? Yes, but only if you lay on your stomach."
"*sees sister's facebook post that her dog died* how do i tell her i love her & i'll always be there for her *clicks sad face button* perfect"
"This Christmas I got a new car for my wife. I thought it was a great trade."
"""If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you, son."" --Jay-Z consoling his son who just started menstruating."
"A child asks: ""Mom, why do women wear white on their wedding day?"" Mom: Well, they wear white because it's the happiest day of their life. Child: Then why does the man wear black?"
"The wife just said ""right, pack ur bags and go ya lazy bastard."" I said,""fuck off...you pack them."""