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Joke of the Day

"My friend David had his Id stolen. Now we just call him Dav.."

"Hey bartender, I'll take an entendre... ...on second thought, make it a double."

"They should make a Conservative Insurance to counter Progressive, they'll never fix anything and tell you to let Jesus take the wheel."

"I used to think I'd never be able to be president because I'm a woman but now I know it's because I don't like drinking water"

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool I gave him a glass of water"

"...: who do you listen to more? Mummy or daddy? 5y: mummy ...: why? 5y: mummy talks more"

"""HOW MUCH FOR THE GREEN SMART CAR?"" ""Ma'am, that's a watermelon"""

"What did fish say when she hit the wall ? Dam(n) !!!"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer. What do you call a dead deer with no eyes? Still, no eye deer."

"A priest and a rabbi walk by a junior high school... The priest peers inside and says ""Hey. Let's go inside and screw some little boys."" The rabbi responds ""Out of what?"""