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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Santa have any kids? Because he only comes once a year and when he does, it's down a chimney."

"If I won $900,000,000, I'd give a quarter of it to Charity... She's a talented dancer and says she needs money for school."

"Totally Original Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some Poems Rhyme This one doesn't"

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did - in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car."

"What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving ? A road hog !"

"I saw my friend's girl sleeping with another man in the army but didn't tell him... It was a private affair."

"[job interview] ""So we'll call you & let you know. Do you have any questions?"" Yes, can you text me instead to let me know?"

"A shark can sense a drop of blood from 3 miles away, and a mom can sense you're not getting enough to eat from 10,000."

"I heard they found the plane.. Well at least Sarah Palin tweeted that she could see the wreckage from her house."

"You gotta randomly lift your girl in the air, just to let her know you could throw her off a balcony if her phone ever went off after 11 PM."