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Joke of the Day

"Why are most blacks Catholic? If they were Jewish their dicks couldn't live in the hood."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat the fuck out of her so it doesn't happen again."

"you're honor, my client- hold on.. *long recess w/ client* ok my really high client wants to know if he can eat his Cheetos during the trial"

"My favorite holiday drink is the Little Drummer Boy. It's one part rum, three parts pum."

"I don't need a drink in my hand to be happy. I'm also happy if the drink is on a table as long as it's still within arm's reach."

"A third grader opens the door and yells to his mom. ""Mom! Today I found out I have a bigger penis than all the other kids!"" ""That's because you're 23, Tyrone."""

"I find it odd that my son's teacher would like to see him skip grade one without knowing how horribly he screwed up when doing our taxes."

"Beer: When are you coming home. Me: Right away honey. See. Marriage works. Just choose the right wife."

"I told my wife we can have sex or go see Star Wars, she said, I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out. But she pulled some strings and got me in."

"A news report says hackers stole $1 Billion dollars from banks around the world. And several pens."