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Joke of the Day

"I was quite surprised to learn that there are 47 ways to spell..... Prime Minister Netanyahu."

"What other body parts did Voldemort not have apart from his nose? His legs and arms.. because he was disarmed and defeated."

"I like Jesus... But he loves me. It's an awkward friendship."

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't go near anything that's not 20% off."

"This is your brain: [hippo standing in a field] This is your brain on twitter: [100s of people surround the hippo patting it rhythmically]"

"Last time I got some ass My finger went through the toilet paper"

"I think I've figured out Dr Who's first name Guess"

"i've dated so many tools i could open a home depot"

"Caution: Cutting corners may lead to extra corners."

"Where will you find the most powerful man in Los Angeles? Watts."