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Joke of the Day

"I went to a General Store the other day. Couldn't find anything specific."

"two kids were arrested.. Two kids were arrested, one was eating fireworks and the other one was drinking battery acid. one got charged and the other got let off."

"Chicago's a dangerous place. Last time I visited I stole two cars and a lady's purse."

"Your tattoo says ""only god can judge me"" yet here i am...."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his butt"

"Why do you never tease a fat girl with lisp? Because she's thick and tired of it."

"I absolutely love helium filled balloons. I can't speak highly enough about them."

"Double standards are amazing. If I take my top off I'm called a ""poser"". But if a women does it, suddenly I'm not allowed to masturbate?"

"I thought air was free until I bought a bag of Lay's Potato Chips!"

"I hope I'm not the only one who hovers over someone when they use my favorite pen just so they know I'm serious about wanting it back."