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Joke of the Day

"Why do you never tease a fat girl with lisp? Because she's thick and tired of it."

"PERV IN THE LINGERIE STORE Q: Why did the perv go into Victoria's Secret? A: The panties were half off."

"""Oh, you're left handed?"" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I'm just doing it for show"

"I was shopping for shoes for my imaginary friend He was a size 10i"

"My brother and I ran out of protein powder. I turned to him and said, ""no whey....."" (true story)"

"Why do North Americans hate playing chess? Cause they lack the towers."

"""Give me your Vitamin Water and your organic gluten-free cookies unless there's peanuts in them because I'm allergic."" - 2012 school bully"

"""The only difference between heterosexual and homosexual sex is which hole you stick it in."" ~my mother after a few drinks"

"What did Sandy Hook elementary get in the mail instead of new books? Empty Magazines."

"(NSFW) A friend of mine started dating a girl with special needs. Everyone is saying how sweet it is but I think he's fucking retarded."