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Joke of the Day

"5 Arabs are sitting around looking at pictures of thier kids One says to the others they blow up so fast!!"

"If I had wings, I'd spread them and soar like an eagle for about ten minutes then space out on a phone wire with these fat pigeons"

"Whats the worst thing you can do to a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet"

"I stole a toilet seat from a police station once, and they never figured out it was me. They had nothing to go on."

"What does SAG-AFTRA call a low-budget foreign production? Scrub-a-dub-dub."

"I've been in line at the DMV for 1.5 hrs so my distaste for the general population is at an all time high right now."

"What do you call a bad Cubs game? Unbearable"

"I tried S/M once, and ended up with a dominatrix who was unusually cruel. Instead of using a whip she would make me do fractions in my head."

"You know what I don't get? Jobs."

"Why aren't there any walmarts in Afghanistan? Because there's a Target on every corner!"