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Joke of the Day

"Twister 2: Climate change makes tornadoes evolve. They work together. We can't beat them. We team up instead The twisters destroy ISIS."

"I really hope the rise of the machines doesn't involve my laptop camera taping me look at stuff on the internet."

"How do you protect yourself from ghosts? Hide in the living room."

"""It's not you, it's me."" - Identical twins arguing over a photo."

"I've decided to start listing the sources of my eggs. It's very eggs-citing."

"Why does no one like the swiss army? Because they are all a bunch of tools."

"Me: I like your Prince tattoo. ""It's my mother."" Me: Your mother is Prince?"

"do i own a boat? no no no. im afraid of the ocean. i guess u coud say.. *removes glasses* i cant sea"

"A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading ""Wife Wanted."" - The next day he received a hundred letters saying ""You can have mine."""

"Why did gays started to join NSA? They thought it stood for 'no straight allowed'."