114879

Joke of the Day

"ESPN is cutting a few hundred jobs... So tomorrow's AM radio show will be ""Mike and Some Random People from Twitter in the Morning"""

"GIVE ME FUEL GIVE ME FIRE GIVE ME MILK THAT'S NOT EXPIRED"

"My brother is so immature he was a stillbirth"

"What's Al-Qaeda's favorite American football team? The New York jets."

"John Cena pay-per-view matches don't sell anymore in the UK. Because when John Cena visits UK, EU can't see him. *Ba dum tss*"

"Is it solipsistic in here... Or is it just me?"

"People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses."

"What is the worst icebreaker? The Titanic"

"My voicemail greeting is just me strangling a cat while reading bible passages."

"{Father & son fishing} DAD: Son, I don't say this nearly enough... SON: *smiles* Yeah? DAD: ...I used to practice kissing on your Aunt Kim."