114828

Joke of the Day

"Turning on a guy is like flipping a light switch. Turning on a woman is like wiring that switch & then building a nuclear plant to power it."

"I think I can fix one of your ripped shirts. Well sew it seams anyway."

"""Yes! I've finally gone from an L to an XL!"" Said the Roman"

"My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them."

"Whats the difference between Donald Trump and a Vacuum? Nothing. Both are really loud, and full of shit."

"Being alone with my girlfriend on Easter. ""Jesus has risen . . . and so have I."""

"The eyes are the window to the soul which is why I'm throwing pebbles at your face."

"My friend Victor changed his last name to ""E"". No one knows why. He's become a Mystery."

"What's the difference between jam and peanut butter? I can't peanut butter my dick down your mom's throat."

"I had some Taco Bell the other night. Shit was spewing out of my ass at 88mph. Now everyone at school calls me Doc Brown."