160506

Joke of the Day

"Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics? He was on performance-enhancing rugs."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can finish a race."

"I was going to be an Operatic Singer Before they threw me out of the hospital."

"Why did the witch wear a green felt pointed hat? So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen."

"Opportunity knocked today, but just to inform me that he's a sex offender."

"How do I know that Trump will be our next president? Because Orange is the new Black."

"My husband hits me whenever I tell a joke. He doesn't strike me as the funny type."

"I went to McDonald's yesterday and said, ""I'd like some fries"" The girl at the counter said, ""Would you like some fries with that?"""

"Why do Native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land."

"What's worse than losing one arm? Losing both your arms."