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Joke of the Day

"When I have kids I'm going to tearfully serve them scrambled eggs smothered in ketchup & tell them it's Humpty Dumpty."

"I bought myself a new hairdryer but it's faulty. It sucks."

"What's Shaking? Not Ali...."

"Why can you never compromise with a veggie burger? Because they'll never meat in the middle."

"Reality! 11:30- I will go to bed soon. 03:30- Why am i on wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory."

"If only Darwinian theory worked on request."

"What did the doctor say to the infertile Princess Bride? Inconceivable!"

"Why do donut shops not hire security? Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection."

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm being selfish using my voice to just sing in the car instead of saving the music industry."

"Whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine."