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Joke of the Day

"Why do donut shops not hire security? Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection."

"I just sold all my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay Imagine all the PayPal"

"Oh, you wash your clothes each time you wear them? Well la de da, your majesty."

"So a bar walks into a physicist... Shoot; wrong frame of reference..."

"I don't blame Cat Zingano. I'm sure most men don't last 12 seconds with Rhonda Rousey either."

"Do you suppose there was much disagreement over what to call the Honda Accord?"

"Why does nobody like Tigger? Because he plays with Pooh."

"When Dennis Thatcher had sex with Margaret Thatcher he called it pumping iron."

"What was Cambodia's biggest export in the 90s? Pol Potting mix."

"I swear, a pigeon at the bus stop this morning was trying to flirt with me. Anyway, totally fucked that pigeon."