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Joke of the Day

"Reality! 11:30- I will go to bed soon. 03:30- Why am i on wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory."

"It was definitely Adam and Steve - what kind of straight man hangs out in a garden??"

"What's gray and comes in quarts? According to my mom, my new stepdad"

"Why do terds taper at the end? So your asshole doesn't slam shut."

"Why do we measure snakes in inches? Because they don't have any feet!"

"I try not to beat live horses, either"

"Accidentally took a women's multi vitamin and I've been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat."

"I stopped going to my colorblind therapist. He could never tell when I was blue."

"What do you call the indian prime minister's method of operation? Modi's operandi."

"If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo's show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it's Halloween because our family reunion was in July...."