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Joke of the Day
"Oh, you wash your clothes each time you wear them? Well la de da, your majesty."
Next Joke
"Japan's economy crashed in the 90s because their housing bubble was so bad, the Imperial Palace was worth all the land in California. I *wish* houses out here could still be that cheap!"
"How will Trump deport the Mexicans? Juan by Juan."
"I just watched a knot making documentary, it was really good! Especially that ending, what a twist."
"Instead of complaining that it's hard to remove glitter, accept it. Embrace it. You are a shiny person now."
"How do I stay humble? Well, it's not easy, but I start by being generally bad at almost all things."
"Today's the 3rd anniversary of my joining Twitter. Also the 3rd anniversary of the last time I spoke to my family or read a book."
"A man once got his penis cut off he used to be a dick... now he is just nuts."
"Christy's husband wants to get divorced. ""No way, John!"" says Christy. ""Widow you took me, widow you leave me!""."
"Why did the investment banker leave her husband? She was losing interest."