223429

Joke of the Day

"Christy's husband wants to get divorced. ""No way, John!"" says Christy. ""Widow you took me, widow you leave me!""."

"Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise? He was looking for the Captain's log."

"Contrary to popular belief, tigers do not holler if you catch them by the toe. Also, could someone call an ambulance?"

"That moment when the woman ur dancing behind bends over so u can grind &u realize she lost an earring & nobody in starbucks can hear ur iPod"

"Why do jihadists drink instant coffee? Because they hate the french press..."

"The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out."

"Remember, I'm not an idiot...I just play one on-OH CRAP I'M ON FIRE! GUYS, HELP! I'M ON FIRE AGAIN! Oh wait...this is just an orange shirt."

"What's the oldest trick in the book? Trick #1, duh. It's at the beginning of the contents."

"Spider: Why don't you like us? Most us are harmless and we kill all the bugs in your house? We just want to help Humans: EW EW EW EW OMG"

"What do you call it when you torture corn to death? Macabre!"