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Joke of the Day

"David Cameron sends Alex Salmond a text following the Scottish vote... David: ""Hi mate just checking in, u k?"""

"TIFU. She was on top."

"What's the problem with leptokurtic data sets? They tend to be mean."

"What do you get if you cross a dog and a film studio ? Collie-wood !"

"What do you call a very rude bird ? A mockingbird !"

"Hey, Reddit! Here's one about cats: why did the mother cat move her kittens? She didn't want to litter."

"If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out."

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard ""grow up!"" I could buy a seriously awesome security system to keep doody heads out of my fort."

"You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak."

"I'm not a basic Jew, I'm Hasidic."