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Joke of the Day

"My crazy great Grandma My Great Grandma is 104, and she said to me: ""If the good die young, I MUST BE TERRIBLE"""

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"The War on Terrorism.... ....God's way of teaching Geography to Americans."
"When people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years... ""I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"""
"(NSFW) She told me.... She told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth!"
"What do French athletes wear? Jaques straps"
"The show Hoarders is like a snooze button for cleaning your house, ""My place isn't that bad, I can go another week"""
"Damn girl, are you a jar of pickles? Because I think I NEED to bang you on my kitchen counter."
"Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help? because he was kneaded."
"Words (short and lame) Prepositions are words to not end sentences with."
"Did you know Donald Trump only had two moods? Pissed off and pissed on."