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Joke of the Day
"My wife said she'd like another baby... ... I agreed, the one we have is fucking annoying!"
Next Joke
"I really needed something positive in my life so I finally got tested."
"How do you cut a Emo sandwich? Trick question, it cuts itself."
"[I remove my bike helmet, but my toupee comes off with it] ""I'm sorry guys, is there something funny about safety?"""
"Ben Carson is my favorite candidate whose name sounds like a Transformer explaining to his kid why he hasn't seen him much lately"
"Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks."
"7: what do you want for your birthday? Me: idk a new car 7: ok *walks away* [ 2 min later ] 7: what do you want that's under $6.42?"
"Daughter (5): ""Daddy your tummy is big and bouncy just like our trampoline"" Me: ""Well you're short and can't spell chrysanthemum"""
"There was a pretty girl in the produce section so to impress her I bought a mango"
"Did you hear about the midget Trump supporter? Apparently, he's a little racist."