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Joke of the Day

"A Roman guy walks into a bar, raises two fingers, and says... ""I'll take five beers."""

"What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ? Fancy a bite ?"

"I inherited an Epipen My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"parents just reaming ms frizzle out at a pta meeting. ""you took our kids to god damn outer space. we didnt even have to sign a form"""

"My uncle used to sell cheap inflatable dolls They always went down on the customer."

"We both want it. My lips part. His do, too. The tension pulsates. ""I'll take the one w/ sprinkles!"" And that's how I got the last one."

"Why dont Muslims play Dota? Because techies respawns"

"I've got 99 problems, which really bothers me since I've also got OCD and I prefer even numbers."

"What is Rickon Stark's favourite band ? One Direction."

"I've been having an affair with a film director's wife. Yesterday he caught us in bed together. He was furious. I said to him, ""Look, mate, don't make a scene."""