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Joke of the Day

"Helium walks into a bar... and the barman says 'sorry we don't serve noble gasses in here'. However Helium doesn't react."

"The average fight between men lasts 3 minutes. The average fight between women lasts 17 years."

"What do you call a time traveler who masturbated in the future? A blast from the past."

"I Ejaculated 6 Feet Earlier. Which is weird, as I usually ejaculate semen."

"I was so sad and crying when I lost my playstation 3 but unfortunately, there was nobody to console me!"

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbanzo Bean? I didn't just pay $500 to have a Garbanzo Bean on my face."

"If Trump replaces Obama in the white house, then we can all say... Orange is the new Black. Thanks, ~~I'll see myself out.~~ Apparently, I don't need to."

"Hard to believe that Twitter is six years old. Seems like just yesterday that I spoke to my family."

"It's good times for German geologists As they have discovered a large deposit of gemulichkeit."

"Who the hell allowed me to be born in this stupid head?' a Thought said and killed herself..."