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Joke of the Day

"I shouldn't be entrusted with responsibility. I took my pet rock to the lake for an afternoon of swimming... He drowned. RIP Dwayne"

"One day I'm going to cure blindness. You'll see! You'll all see!"

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? It was two tired."

"Why was the laser sad? All his gas is Argon."

"Doctor, how long do I have left to live? - Ten. - Ten what? - Nine."

"""I just love making people laugh"" - me, explaining why I do sex"

"Watching the Flintstones in the UAE... is not possible in Dubai because the people don't like it. But the people from Abu Dhabi do."

"What's the worst thing about being in an incestuous relationship with your own father? Every time you say to him ""I'm horny"" he always replies ""Hi, horny, I'm dad""."

"What does a tornado and a red-neck divorce have in common? Either way someone's going to lose a trailer."

"3 guys just arrived to heaven and... 3 guys just arrived to heaven and then Jesus proceeds to call by their names: - ""Rand"" kiss my hand! - ""Pete"" kiss my feet! Then Jesus: Rick!? Why are you running?"