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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to meet a failed scientist, like I do writers. ""I science on the weekends and for free sometimes. I think of it more as a hobby."""

"I was admitted to hospital suffering a severe case of sexual frustration but after 48 hours I discharged myself."

"Judge threw out a lawsuit against Starbucks said the Plaintiff had no grounds."

"""What's your favourite Pixar film?"" ""Up, yours?"" ""No need to be like that I was only asking"""

"when I grow up I want to be the guy who wears a puffy suit and gets attacked by police dogs"

"I called the rape advice hotline.... .... but they said it was only for victims"

"I hate when her husband comes home early. She says I'm the pool boy. And I spend the next few hours cleaning the pool. This is BULLSH!T!"

"Marry a man who surrounds himself with good weather and can provide good weather for you and your children."

"What do u call a black abortion? crime control"

"I have just been kidnapped by a fat dude in a red suit, shoved in a bag and taken to the north pole and wrapped up. Who put me on their Christmas list?"