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Joke of the Day

"The four scariest words any husband can hear are ""guess what today is?"""

"Harry and Jerry Harry is at home and his door is locked. Jerry come in Harry says, ""Who are you and how did you get here"" Jerry says, ""I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith"""

"Justin Timberlake visits the Ukraine. Where does he visit first? Crimea River"

"What's a cat's favorite color? Purrple."

"As a Harry Potter fan, I dream of going to Hogwarts. My friend is a Narnia fan, and he's always wanted to go to Narnia. My other friend is a Hunger Games fan, but he's good."

"I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically."

"Are you the square root of -100? Cause you're the only 10i see."

"Women are supposed to be like butterflies, beautiful and hard to catch... ...But most of you are like mosquitoes, annoying and easy to smash."

"The Big C Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried. ""What's the matter?"" I asked. ""I've got the big C,""he said. ""What, cancer?"" ""No, dyslexia."""

"Everyone knows that if you pee in a dream, you pee in real life... But did you know that if you go off a guard rail in a dream, you go off a guard rail in real life?"