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Joke of the Day
"What's a cat's favorite color? Purrple."
Next Joke
"How do you greet an overweight Micronesian when you're trying to sound cool? Microsoft Word."
"The most maddening part of your parents giving you annoying advice is that they're usually right."
"[Girlfriend looks at me in disgust] ""Did u just propose using emojis?"" ... ""Technically its called a propoji, but yes"" [She's already gone]"
"[getting dating advice from my dad] Just be yourself and don't do anything stupid ""Well which one is it?"""
"you used to call me on my nokia phone"
"My pants say yoga but my ass says more cupcakes please"
"Websites that automatically start playing music are like friends that awkwardly start giving you a massage."
"[cash4gold] Man in a coat: [holding gold bar] ""How much is this worth?"" ""It's 25 carats..."" [8 rabbits rustle excitedly beneath trench-coat]"
"When 13 witches collectively fart in a cauldron and quickly cover it with a lid... *lowers shades* ...Dutch Coven."