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Joke of the Day

"I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically."

"I went to walmart today. I got the cart with three wheels and a hoof. This always happens to me."

"A priest opens a restaurant... and calls it ""Braise the Lord"""

"Testing, please ignore Test^(ing)"

"I think I'm gonna just be a rapper. apparently you need zero experience, and zero talent to be a millionaire in the rap game now?"

"Ey gurl, is your name Andromeda? Because you got a heavenly body! It's 5:50AM and I still can't sleep."

"Cam Newton has been fitted with a GoPro strapped to his leg for the Super Bowl, sponsored by a canned meat company. It's called the Spam Cam Newton Gam Cam"

"My interior decorator quit on her first day on the job. I told her to paint all the walls in my house to be green screens."

"I invented a new word. Plagiarism."

"I asked my sister how her blind date went ""Oh it was terrible"" she said, ""He showed up in a 1948 Rolls-Royce."" ""So what's so bad about *that*?"" I asked. Apparently he was the original owner."