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Joke of the Day

"Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat? Not because he was into beastiality you Islamophobe... He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday."

"The past, present and future walked into a bar It was tense."

"Obama and Bush walk into a bar... ...Clinton ducked."

"If you don't like my selfies, maybe you shouldn't have such a beautiful friend. Maybe you aren't ready to handle that kind of responsibility"

"What is the shortest street in the universe? Planckstrasse"

"Why did Marxism never catch on in England? Because then it'd be impossible to get proper tea."

"I think Bran might actually know how to walk and is just faking it. He's always lying."

"Hey babies, I can do 12 push-ups. Impressed? Doap. Typo, meant babes. Impressed? No? Oh. Well then. Impressed babies?"

"My car is 13 years old. I like how the ceiling fabric hangs down and makes it feel like a blanket fort."

"your momma so fat I'm seriously concerned for her health"