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Joke of the Day

"Every call with my mother starts in one of two ways: 1. WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED? IS EVERYTHING OK? 2. WHY ARE YOU CALLING? IS EVERYTHING OK?"

"Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ? Someone else's !"

"What Do You Call An Arab Dinosaur? Dino-mite."

"What's the opposite of a basic Jew? A Hasidic Jew. (Thank you.. Thank you.. I'll be here all week..)"

"One time I was checking out this really hot girl and she paid me for it because I was a grocery store cashier."

"You eat what (phonetic joke)? Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who?"

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis, tiny little knotziz"

"Hey girl, you know why they call me ""Toilet Paper?"" Because I'm so Charmin."

"Dear Keebler elves, 100 calorie packs of cookies suck. I hope your tree burns down."

"Jason Collins joke Jason Collins finally comes out. He had to go through a hell of a lot of hoops though."