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Joke of the Day

"I like my women how I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer"

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"If you're first on a YouTube comment thread, I assume you're last in pretty much everything else."
"Werner Heisenberg just unveiled a new car... It comes with a GPS or a speedometer, but not both."
"A little immature... Knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? No! You're a poo!"
"What do you give an elephant with big feet ? Plenty of room !"
"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick."
"Police Officer: You know, this is a one way street? Me: I was only going one way..."
"What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head? Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine?"
"[First Date] Me: So, Construction? Him: Yeah M: You nail stuff? With your big hammer? H: M: Like to screw? H: M: Hey! Where are you going?"
"Everytime I have sex... It's really hands on."