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Joke of the Day

"Everytime I have sex... It's really hands on."

"What did the elephant say to the naked guy? Pretty impressive, but can it pick up peanuts?"

"What's the difference between a psychotic mental patient and a man with a bible in his hand? Respiridol"

"Instagram better not use my cloud pics. THEY'RE MY CLOUDS GET YOUR OWN CLOUDS ZUCKERBERG!"

"These Brock Turner jokes are really distasteful. Maybe they'd be okay if I was blackout drunk."

"I was talking to this guy at the gym about push-ups. ""How many reps would you usually do?"" he asked. ""A million,"" I rep lied."

"Why did the Mexican tie his wife to the train tracks? To-kill-er"

"[NSFW] What do they say after intercourse in Alabama? ""Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my smokes!"""

"What do we say to Boris Johnson and Donald Trump running the world? Hair Hair!"

"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it."