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Joke of the Day

"Why does George R.R Martin never use Twitter? Because he killed all 140 characters."

"A Mexican man has two penises. What did he name them? Jose and Hose B."

"Why can you always trust a bee without wings? Because it's down to earth."

"What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line."

"Hey, ancient Egyptians! I'm eating popcorn that I cooked inside a bag in under a minute. Fuck your pyramids."

"Seenus trouble Dad: Son, I have seenus trouble. Me: Seenus? Dont you mean sinus trouble, pops? Dad: No, son. Seenus, I was out with my girlfriend and your mom seenus."

"My dick is a joke Nobody's ever seen it coming."

"I posed naked for a magazine today Although from the reaction I got, I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money"

"Save money this Halloween by utilizing last years' hobo costume to dress up as this year's federal employee."

"Hi, you're through to the Incontinence Hotline... Can you hold please?"