113971

Joke of the Day

"Life is like a basketball... It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you."

"Crap. They didn't cancel this morning's meeting. I wore my suit to bed inside out for nothing."

"Me: Goodnight Moon. Moon: Don't ""Goodnight"" me! Do you know what time it is? Where the hell have you been?"

"Q: Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school? A: Everyone kept saying it was back to school time."

"The Walking Dead Even in the apocalypse black guys end up behind bars!"

"I'm a heavy sleeper. Also, a heavy awaker. Okay, I'm fat."

"My arm is asleep. Let's draw mustaches on it."

"The Indian National Army has anti-gay laws... They call it the law of Don't Ask, Don't Patel."

"How do the Jedi imprison Siths? With force-fields"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea??? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."