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Joke of the Day

"Who, me? Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work."

"A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells ""You should have been here at 8:30!"" he replies: ""Why? What happened at 8:30?"""

"What are condoms for? Condoms are for fucking pussies, and for assholes."

"What disease do elderly dinosaurs get? Jurassic Parkinsons"

"What is will? A little bitch"

"What language does a Jewish homosexual speak? Heblew"

"How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix? One? I say one."

"(OC) what did dispatch say to the dog catcher when he asked if he was done for the day? You're golden retriever."

"Request: Jokes for the sick? I have a good friend who was just hospitalized, hopefully nothing too serious. I'd love to send him a few short, clean jokes to cheer him up. Thanks!"

"if anyone has reason for these two not to wed, speak now or forever hold y- [brides dad stands up] ""SHE BRUSHES HER TEETH WITH HOT WATER"""