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Joke of the Day
"I like telling people I'm 4 months pregnant so they'll tell me how great I look."
Next Joke
"What do you call someone who sells sex in exchange for spaghetti? A pastatute."
"You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush."
"If Hillary becomes president... ...will that make Bill the first husband?"
"If I've said it once, I've said it one hundred times. I'd rather listen to an auto-tuned queef played on a loop over and over, than listen to Lady Gaga's performance at the Grammy's again."
"I have the body of an eighteen year old I keep it in the fridge"
"My dog's frightened to walk across shiny floors and won't eat dog food unless I heat it up. I have a feeling he'd be a flop out in nature."
"And then God said: Let women have infallible memory. But technology said: And screenshots, just in casies."
"Nike and TOMS are embarking on a joint venture... ...for every pair of shoes you buy, they'll donate a pair to the child who made them."
"Did you see the gorgeous girl doing the taser demonstration? She was stunning."