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Joke of the Day
"If Hillary becomes president... ...will that make Bill the first husband?"
Next Joke
"Me: What kind of stupid phone you got there? Him: Windows phone Me: Oh [takes it and lobs it out the window] Yes it is"
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Licalotapus."
"What did one butt cheek say to the other? If we pull together, we can stop this shit."
"Psychiatrists say girls tend to marry men like their fathers. That is probably the reason mothers cry at weddings."
"The only double penetrating I'll ever do is eating the double stuff Oreo I just dropped into my coffee."
"A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ""Uno, dos..."" And poof! He disappears without a tres."
"What famous band sleeps the least? Slipknot"
"So excited for the season finale of America I hope there's another season though..."
"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard. I just got laid."