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Joke of the Day

"Crees que soy muy bajita? La novia pregunta al novio - Amor Crees que soy muy bajita? - Pues tienes una estatura comun. - De veras? - Si, comun-duende. jajaja que grosero verdad"

"The Walmart app just updated on my phone and now water autocorrects to soda and exercise autocorrects to Doritos and beer."

"A girl gave me a dirty look for holding the door... Sheez, I'll never hold the door for them again especially when I have to piss badly."

"First day as a drug dealer. Made a ton of sales. Boy are people forgetful, they all left their wallets at home.Gonna be rich tomorrow though"

"I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."

"Where does the pirate put his ear ring? In his buccaneer."

"How did a mom figure out her daughter had hit puberty? She kept wetting the bed."

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans Free. - [*Darren Walsh*](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34039927)"

"Joke. What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat? ......Claude!"

"Computer dating is fine... if you are a computer."