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Joke of the Day

"A girl gave me a dirty look for holding the door... Sheez, I'll never hold the door for them again especially when I have to piss badly."

"PET PEEVE: Why do we call them baby names? They're HUMAN NAMES. They don't expire as you grow up."

"What did the German Kaiser roll say to the French baguette? *Gluten tag*"

"sisters take a selfie crank http://grabfile.co/189159"

"If you whisper, ""we're being watched,"" you can hug a stranger for as long as you want. My record is 13 days."

"What is the best pickup line at a gay bar? Let me push your stool in for you. ^^I'm^sorry."

"One mans trash... ""One man's rubbish is another man's treasure"" is a fantastic Idiom. But it's a horrible way to tell your kid that he's adopted."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired."

"- Dad, are mermaids fish or women? -It depends on if you are horny or hungry."

"My girlfriend has twelve breasts. It seems kind of freaky, dozen-tit?"